"DEAR LEADER"

To close out the year, the “Musee des lettres et Manuscrits”(the museum of letters and manuscripts) is having a exhibition called “parlez-moi d’amour”(speak to me about love), a show about love letters.

An appropriate way to close out and begin the new year. Sorry, it’s all in French but here’s a link to a BBC story about it (got to love the french pornographer’s “non de porn”, John B Root, a play on the word “biroute”, which loosely translated means “dick”; a biroute is also a wind sock, like those you may have spied at airports). What a perfect name for that ever temporal, directional, inflatable and eminently engorge-able!

Since we frogs have a museum for just about everything, here is what my contribution to french culture will be, when and if I make my millions and move back to France to donate a sizable portion of my nouvelle fortune to this newly formed cultural institution: “The Gift Shop Museum“, the museum for and about museum gift shops.

Happy New Yeah…….. wherever and whenever your wind blows!

I’m thinking Olympic event.

and of course, straight from the set of “Idiocraty”, kabuki nuts.

Walton Ford is one of my favorite contemporary artists. Taschen has just come out with a book I can’t afford but thankfully his work is readily available on the web, albeit a little small for my taste. I have not had the pleasure of seeing his painting up close but I am sure I won’t be disappointed but thankfully his work is readily available on the web, albeit a little small for my taste. I have not had the pleasure of seeing his paintings up close but I am sure I won’t be disappointed.

It stands to reason to finish out the year with images of Iapetus. Discovered by Giovanni Cassini in 1671 it is Saturn’s third largest moon.
These images were taken by the Cassini-Huygens space craft and to my mind represents all that is great about humankind. Discovery, creativity, wonder, love, intelligence, curiosity, generosity…..Let’s just hope that the odds in 2008 will be stacked in those favors. But at least, when the going gets rough, I’ll always have JPL to go to and marvel at what we can do, as oppose to what we did.

PS: Nevertheless, let’s be thankful that Iapetus is a little too far away as I foresee a day when this moon will probably be turned in to the solar system’s largest Alpine getaway.

Unlike most people, I actually like to read my spam from time to time, at least the stuff that makes it past the filters. Call it a kind of divine random selection, like prehensile tails or nipples on men.
Like the rest of you I get my fair share of spam, but sometimes, something so fabulous comes throught, that it would be a shame not to disseminate it to the rest of you who do not bother digging through the internet’s feces, like I do.

0118 “”In the Very Beginning, before I created myself out of myself, and before I created anything, I pondered (thought through) everything: knowing the beginning of everything, knowing the where of everything, and knowing the ending of everything; that there should be neither mistake nor falsity in anything that I should do; nor any filth or pollution anywhere in My Perfection. Yea! I considered all things, without exception, before I created anything.
0119 “”And the first of My Creations was to create myself out of myself.
0120 “”In the Very Beginning of All Other Living Things after I created myself out of myself, I created Elisha (EL-ISH-AH, First of Me), a help meet (sufficient) unto me.
0121 “”In the Very Beginning, after I created myself out of myself and after I created Elisha, I created time, that there should be an accounting: a then that was, and a now that is, and a then that shall be; and when I created time, I determined the Very Beginning and the Very Ending, when all I have created shall come before me and present full account.
0122 “”In the Very Beginning of Time, I created many Heavens, and many Realms, and many Planes, and many Places; and I established the order of them, and the nature of them, both Righteous and Evil: that there be Excellence of Knowledge and Wisdom wheresoever creation should be. Then unto all the Heavens and all the Realms and all the Planes and all the Places I created the first of all Living Souls: with free will to become as I am, for I am a God of Life and I want many to be as I am, that I may become greater to provide more life and more abundance for all I have created.
0123 “”In the very beginning of all living souls, I brought forth many great numbers of them instantly and at the same time, that they all be equal and none above the other and none superior to the other in any manner: for I had already established that life would be, and life would be the essence of purity, and purity would be the essence of the soul, and the soul would be the essence of the spirit, and the spirit would be the essence of free will, and free will would be the essence of discipline, and discipline would be the essence of cognizance, and cognizance would be the essence of recognition, and recognition would be the essence of consciousness, and consciousness would be the essence of mind, and mind would be the essence of intelligence, and intelligence would be the essence of all comprehension.

Read on at the Akurian website and don’t forget to browse the gallery and the links.

In 2008 I will be posting photo stories I won’t be doing, but which, if they have not already been done, you may “Artfully” shoot for yourself. Remember, you can shoot almost anything, and depending on how you package it, you can make a name for yourself. If you persevere and produce “a body of work” consisting of more than six, but no less than twelve of these stories within a calendar year, and in a somewhat recognizable personal style, you will ………

Begin here/Story One:

Go to strip clubs with a large format camera and shoot the audience watching the show(do not shoot the striper). Report to the authorities when you are done. You will need around 30 to 40 images of strip clubs throughout the country and the world, if possible. The rest is up to you. Good luck……

Photo by: Unknown.

This image is only meant to reference the story idea above, it was found online and should by no means be copied or imitated. It’s posted purpose should only be viewed and used as stated references.

WARNING: This electronic transmission contains confidential information intended only for the above named recipient. Any use, distribution, copying, or disclosure by any other above named recipient is strictly prohibited. If you received this transmission in error, please notify the sender by return e-mail and delete all copies of this message. Corsican lap dances are the registered trademark of Olivier Laude. The use of sexual innuendoes containing the words ” Lap, Corsican, or Dance” are strickly prohibited without the author’s explicit and prior consent .
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Back from four days in LA. Southwest to Burbank, lunch with Maren and Shushi for Christmas with Adrienne. Best part of Christmas is not thinking that virgin’s birth. Murakami, Thai massages, farmers market and Third street, Griffith’s observatory, Venice to see skanks, tar pits to Japantown, looked up Adrienne’s skirts, fro yo and Pinkberry’s; all in all a tasty treat.

PS: “Gulbuddin Hekmatyar” How I wish I could stone your ass to death. Where are you, you sack of shit?

Me and the old lady are off to LA tomorrow, in the “Ante Meridiem”. Time for a little R and R and some of that good ole mock procreation. We’ll be back next week to continue this miraculous time suck.

So, in the meantime, have yourself a nice little bit of consumption, don’t forget to let your children have a little bit of that champagne but don’t go off a drinking that sparkling shit or the Moet will go off and stick it up your Chandon. See y’all bitches in Rome….

It seems that everyone is compiling lists fit to educate the coming year. Classically trained, and not one to be culturally outdone, I have also compiled a short list of French Classics, save one: “The Golden Ass”.

I plan on re-reading them all in 2008. They are all available in French and in English and are truly great books. Do your own googling, I ain’t linking…. you might stumble upon something great, instead of following my leads. These are all books I read as a kid and remember vividly. Twelve in all, one per month.

1- Candide, Voltaire.
2- L’Ingénu, Voltaire.
3- La Chevelure, Guy de Maupassant.
4- Le Horla, Guy de Maupassant.
5- Gargantua, François Rabelais.
6- Pantagruel, François Rabelais.
7- The Golden Ass, Lucius Apuleius.
8- Michel Strogoff, Jules Verne
9- Les Mystères de Paris, Eugene Sue.
10- La Gloire de mon père, Marcel Pagnol.
11- Le Château de ma mère, Marcel Pagnol
12- Vol de nuit, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

PS: So much for those top tens, top twelve is where it’s out.