"DEAR LEADER"

If there is one thing I do not like to be called, it’s a liar….not that I do not spend most of my days making up stories and lying to various girlfriends, wives, concubines, correspondents and/or any other daily bipedal relations; but sometimes, when the occasion presents itself, I do not tell a lie….*

Back in 1994 and 1995, a couple friends and I started a site called Atlas Magazine. I originally came up with the idea and concept and quickly recruited Michael Macrone and Amy Franceschini, who at the time was an intern at a design shop in San Francisco called Post tool Design and who went on to moderate fame and fortune, the girl, not the shop…The site quickly became popular and unfortunately, to everyone’s dismay a Web Design Company was spinned off the magazine….

At the time the corporate world was freaking out about having their own website and couldn’t climb fast enough over each other to have terribly disfunctional and ugly sites built, and frankly we could not say no to so little money….. Long story short as I hate to tell boring stories such as this one, the magazine was eventually nominated for the first ever Webbies in 1997 and 1998, which we did not win…BUT, wait for it, there is another category which still exists today called “People’s Voice Webby” which we did win both years….a fact which to our dismay is not properly credited on the Webby Awards‘ website, (i.e completely ignored)…. Why you tell me? Why have we been so wronged to have won something of so little value, and yet, still remain uncredited…to this very day of our Lord, May 4th, 2011…a full 72 hours since Osama’s unceremonious sponge bath into the Labian sea; a 70 Houris’ a chanting?

Well, I only became aware of this fact a few years back and contacted Tiffany Schlain, the creator of the Webby awards and she very pleasantly agreed with me, that indeed, a People’s Voice Webby award was originally part of her/his (David Michel Davies) creation and that as a matter of fact we ought to have been mentioned as both a nominee for the main Webby Award, and as the winner for the People’s voice award….”Thank you Tiffany…… I will contact the new owner of the Webby Awards” but I will be told that the “People’s Voice Webby” did not exist back in 1997 and 1998 (which clearly did, see image above and email below) and to shove my thumb up me arse and see if my prostate reflects my recent and unavoidable foray into middle age…..

So, every year, when some mic or meat puppet announces the Webby winners on NPR, ABC, and/or NBC…. I am reminded that a great wrong has yet to be righted and quickly forget about it…. Ok, wait, let’s backtrack, somebody named David Michel Davies (he looks like he is the original founder) from the International Academy of Digital Arts & Sciences/The Webby Awards did respond rather nicely(see email**) and passed me on to some woman named Jody who essentially told me to stick it where my prostate don’t shine. Consequently the ball was dropped, the matter forgotten and buried by a life lived under a mountain of stress, highlights and cheap high heels….

So….. with evidence to boot, I am posting this so that may be, some day, the Webby Awards folks will be shamed into correcting these oversights, not for the three of us, but for all the other winners of the People’s Voice of the 1997 and 1998 Webby Awards, who also still remain, to this day, uncredited, despicable polyamorous liars……

PS: Atlas Magazine had a different URL in 1997 as it was hosted by Organic, a now large tech company sold to Grey advertising or some such giant French conglomerate…. We were not affiliated with them but they did provide us with free bandwith which was very nice…..

Fuck that was painful….! Do not ever let me write a fucking entry like this again; with dates, names, facts, sentences…what a fucking bore…..!